Limerick

I’m not going to take any more,

I kowtow, I beg, I implore

I’m tired of pleading,

My kneecaps are bleeding,

I’ll stand up and walk out the door.

Limerick

She was a ravenous sort,

Whose hunger never ran short

Stomach bigger than eye

She took the whole pie

And left on her plate not an ort.

Limerick

Don’t say “aphotic” - say dark

Don’t say “blemish” - say mark

You sound like a nerd,

With every big word,

It’s not an “esplanade” - it’s a park!

Limerick

I was hungry and needed a nosh,

My mother offered some squash,

“I want a treat,

Something that’s sweet,

And you’re suggesting goulash!”

Limerick

It’s going to be a barnburner of a day,

I’m going to put all my laundry away,

I’ll write you this tale

Then go get the mail

And I’ll open some bills I can’t pay.

Limerick

Now that I’m not working it’s hard,

To do my hair and to fard,

My nails are a mess,

I seldom ever dress,

And my body looks made of lard.

Limerick

Eddie said, “Hey, my head’s really hot.

It must be a fever or some kind of rot.

Although it’s still germinal,

I think it’s terminal

And we must find me a cemetary plot.”

Limerick

Lightning strikes were shocking me

Remoras were blocking me

I have travelled through hell

You don’t answer your bell

The gods must be mocking me

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